Being a White Male Contrarian These Days

I wrote a few quick paragraphs this morning, as the ideas for a possible blog post rushed into my awareness. Since I was at work I didn’t have time to polish it up so never posted it. It was about gender and society. Since then I’ve cooled off about it, been offended by members of the people I was trying to benefit and become somewhat cynical about humanity’s hope in general. So instead of posting the original ideas I would like to include them with the broader context and story of my day.
Firstly. I would like to make the observation that over the last few weeks there has been a seachange in society. Let me explain. 3 months ago feminist narratives were dominating the mainstream media. Barrack Obama was radiating charismatic cuckoldry throughout the world. People were being shamed for suggesting anything that was politically incorrect. Basically, it sucked to be a white male because every other group owned a stake in what you were allowed to do or be but not vice versa. The would-be strong were necessarily oppressed and short changed by the agenda of equality and progress. Voltaire said: “to learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticise”. Well by this measure we were pretty much ruled by everybody else.
Brexit happened. Donald Trump won. These events are simply symptoms of a wider social movement, based on being justifiably angry at the left. These events of the highest global magnitude have come to legitimise certain sentiments: because the majority officially agrees. It justifies being able to speak in favour of being a man or conserving one’s country. I was certainly one of these people. I always hated feminists with the best of them, still do. Although now I’m starting to hate myself because I feel feminist sentiments taking root in me. I saw that western countries were giving so much on every level that they weren’t even winning anymore and too degraded to even call spade a spade or reject corruption. To my elation Trump won and as expected, the mainstream narrative has shifted to the right. The West is out of freefall. Common sense has become cool again. What I and others were always talking about to the derision of mainstream minds has now become the very thought process of those same mainstream minds. I have learned that most people simply don’t think independently, they just align with the mainstream and deride anything else.
Feminists have been most responsible for political correctness because they need it to control people. They need to be able to punish their enemies through shame and fear. They need big government to intervene intimately in peoples’ lives. They seem to want globalism for some reason. They want every other “disenfranchised group” to help them undermine heterosexual men and traditional institutions. They define and align with the left and absolutely loved Obama and Clinton.
What I’ve seen in the last 2-3 weeks is that critical mass has been reached and guys have given themselves permission to stop being walked all over by progressive ideas. I had a tram ride last night that felt like patriarchy on wheels based on the body language and vibes of fellow commuters. In Australia, there was a phenomenal Facebook page called “Yeah The Boys” which gave a public platform to vent all these pent up frustrations and it was deliciously offensive. The one rule it espoused was “don’t ever let me catch you dogging the boys”. Almost like an oracle that statement has seemed to become part of the fabric of Australian culture – and just over the last month. Although it does harken back to the WW2 value of mateship, though. To put it bluntly, guys have started running shit again like we mostly have for all time. The simple fact of the matter is that as a collective men are more powerful, and that’s what we’ve been seeing lately since they’ve stopped being marginalised by ideas.
Women seemed relatively happy and on board with it at first. Then not so much. Then yesterday you’d think they were in Saudi Arabia or something, the average woman looked completely depressed and angry. I felt bad. I felt I ought to try and not oppress them with my body language. While most mainstream types seemed to be behaving notably dominantly (whereas last year they were notably submissive) I resolved to behave, well, gentlemanly. In response to my feelings of injustice, the following ideas emerged. They are an attempt to think of a more win-win solution where guys would be empowered but women wouldn’t be completely depressed:
Feminism is suited for when women are being systematically oppressed or to systematically oppress men. Lately it struggles to justify its own existence in western culture and seems to unable to “back off” of its own volition or not constantly reaffirm itself publically. Personally I think its proper place in society is as a 1st and 2nd wave safety net.  But for the most part it belongs at the margins and out of mainstream media because it’s really quite weird.
It’s a shame really, the word feminism could refer to a positive philosophy about what it means to be a woman in this day and age. It would be nice if the ideaology known as feminism suggested even a little bit of femininity, personal accountability or duty. I can see the misdirection on a lot of faces because they simply don’t know what to be anymore – which institutions to listen to? Who to be most allegiant to? Same with guys as a matter of fact. These are fertile grounds for useful philosophical discussions.
There should also be a seperate philosophy of gender that isn’t owned by one gender but rather is owned by reason and is based on the greatest good for the greatest number. Feminism claims to be like this but its jsut public relations and in reality it isn’t. There are already positively connotated, gender neutral words for ideaologies like this such as egalitarianism.
However there also needs to be a counter argument to egalitarianism to represent that which egalitarianism disenfranchises. This would be politically incorrect by last month’s standards. The sentiments of this counter argument match what we’re seeing in alt-right  movements at the moment. Its tenets would include things like not intervening in peoples’ lives too much and respect for nature, tradition and religion. These ideas ought to be represented in public discourse because whilst they may not be politically correct, they are more objectively true than the alternative and people do care about them and will vote based upon them.
In summary there ought to be philosophies for what it means to be a man or woman, and philosophies for opposing equality and self-interest. I believe these represent the extremes and if they are allowed to flourish society may find a moderate balance based on the tension between them. Niches will also develop where more extreme views can find their homes. In addition to these positive philosophies there also needs to be some “negatives”. Directives such as “don’t dog the boys” are a good example.
Pretty innocuous right? Well, I don’t know if any of the readers know this but when you write something in the morning, the sentiments of it emanate off you for half a day or so. When I went on my lunch break I must have stunk of being a feminist or something because both women and men were treating me with disdain. I felt spurned. Like I was dogging the boys and was being cuckolded by women for it. Goddamnit, last year I was spurned for disliking feminists now I’m being spurned for sympathising with them.
That brings me to where I am now. Cynical. Frustrated. It’s not easy being a contrarian. But I’m a red blooded male that craves respect more than crave contrarianism. I endorse the above ideas because to me they obviously represent the best solution but as of now, I renounce any form of activism. I need more time to let who I thought I was ebb away with the changing climate.

Fear-Based Somatic Responses

Over the last few years I have been carrying a lot tension in my face. In my jaw, lips and eye sockets mostly. It looks unpleasantly contorted and often confusingly unrelated to the context. I also have a generally uptight way of carrying myself, with very stiff shoulders and (I’ve been told) awkward movements. Walking sideways or moving very slowly whilst dining. Sometimes I’d these wear these as a badge of pride, thinking they demonstrated an active mind – a hallmark of high intelligence. However I now believe that it’s rather undesirable and something which ought to be addressed if possible.
So this week starting a few days ago, I decided to start carrying myself with more confidence. That means not looking down so much, holding eye contact more, and consciously remembering loosen muscles when I feel them tighten. At first it was challenging; it felt incredibly vulnerable. It made me feel like I was being aggressive or elitist. It made me realise something important: we use muscular tension and mannerisms in response to a sense of vulnerability, and ultimately fear. It’s the body’s physical manifestation of nonacceptance and defence.
When you try to release muscular tension in situations where you usually carry it, the emotion which underlies it is feels completely out of control. Thus by practising conscious relaxation of muscles in these triggering situations one can both gain knowledge of our unhelpful emotional responses (it’s easier to name an emotion than a muscular tension) and also to practise letting go of them. I believe that emotions come in waves and amplitude lessens when we let them freely wash over us. Fear is diminished when you let your guard down in a situation and nothing bad happens. Confidence improves. less energy is wasted in muscular tension. The gaze softens. The voice becomes like honey. As the prefrontal cortex quietens down a richer and more noble intelligence blossoms, newly patient without the impetus of fear.
I’ve noticed clearly that how a man carries himself is linked essentially to his attractiveness and respectability. Survival and reproduction value. Same with women but not so much. With women I find that relaxed, upright posture despite vulnerability is the ultimate in feminine gracefulness – super attractive. Nervous gestures and defensive posture are tantamount to submissiveness or retreat. On the other hand confident body language inspires respect. Confidence correlates with leadership and status. There’s a beautiful phenomenon in humans: you can fake it until you make it. Improve the way you carry yourself and how you feel will follow.
I believe that a completely relaxed, slumpy posture is undesirable. Generally you want something that’s confident whilst situationally appropriate and congruent with who you are – “normal” for lack of a better word. It seems to me that the best way is to simply avoid defensive and nervous mannerisms. Notice what things you’re doing to pacify yourself and stop doing them. When you feel yourself tense up in response to a situation consciously try to relax those muscles and deal with the emotions instead. When you find yourself looking down around others, bring your gaze up. Stop nervous or protective gesturing. Hold peoples’ eye contact. Sit comfortably rather than making yourself small. What all of these things have in common is that they feel risky at first. That riskiness is the seed of feeling more confident and the willingness to deal with those social fears at all is an attitude of confidence. Although it’s rare it does shine through and I find it quite admirable and endearing, inseparable from courage.